la vie en rose
i certainly doubt that anything i write here will be original or unique. everything that could be said about the violence and the tragedy in paris this last week has been said 5 or 10 times an hour.
what i do know is that paris is a city that is everyone’s city-certainly for everyone who has ever had the opportunity to visit her. strolling through the city, the seine, the cathedral, versaille, the tuillieries, pere la chaise, the champs elysee, soup a l’oignon, the flea market, salade nicoise, bistec avec bernaise, and the glorious eiffel tower have become part of the collective world consciousness.
when paris was hurt, the world was hurt. and it brought most of us closer. the pundits who are calling for separation are simply fear mongers who have a hidden agenda. what the world needs now is love. love sweet love.
here is my message of love to you world. thank you for giving me the ongoing joy i receive every day- whether i want it or not.
a few things have tugged at my heart this season and filled it with a rush of color. i silently watched a man steeped in exhaustion meander through a vacant lot with his belongings slumped in a wire basket with a style that matched the hunch and slump of his physique. i was pushed back by the opaque and omnipresent trauma that had transformed him into a marionette. and i felt the strength and the tenderness of spirit in this human and i was changed.
i met a man who was unjustly imprisoned for 12 years who lives his life without resentment. i am so far behind this beautiful soul with regard to having capacity to forgive and move on. although i talk a big game, i remain lacking in that particular maturity of the soul. but as i listened as this remarkably resentment-ridden soul related his experiences i felt baptized once again in a holy water bath of hope and purpose. i am changed.
i have asked for help. i have always been one to calculate a situation and the possible outcomes with asking for a favor to help facilitate the outcome i prefer, but i have not been very skilled (or willing for that matter) at asking for help to achieve a goal. don’t get me wrong- i continue to waiver between self-judgment about this and relief that i don’t have to carry all the weight on my own. but i have asked for help. even stranger is that i have been told “yes” more often than i have not heard “yes”. when i can get to the place in my life that the outcome has no more meaning than the process to get there, i will begin to believe i am tasting success. asking for help has humbled me. and i hope it continues to do so.