addiction

birds on a wire- recovery coach training in denver

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Birds sit on a telephone wire image credit (Michael Buholzer/Reuters)
Birds sit on a telephone wire image credit (Michael Buholzer/Reuters)

 

I am so excited to be working on the 1st Recovery Coach Training utilizing the CCAR (Connecticut Community of Addiction Recovery) curriculum which I pursued last year.

I will be collaborating with Colorado Mental Wellness Network in producing these trainings over the next year. The proceeds will go to that organization and be forwarded  to CMWN to promote their peer support agenda and programs throughout Colorado. Additionally, CMWN focuses on ongoing supervision and continued education and connection to others in the field.www.coloradomentalwellnesnetwork.org
This training runs 4 consecutive Saturdays (10 hours each), however at least 2 of the future trainings will run (5) 8 hour days in one week.The cost for the 40 hour training will be $650 and the education can be applied towards the new Colorado Peer Support Specialist Certification (which should be rolled out in October 2015). We will be offering “Spirituality for Recovery Coaches” and “Ethical Considerations for Recovery Coaches” in the near future. All these should cover the required domains for the accreditation. Please consider sharing this information however the attached press release is still a draft, so kindly ask for the final before sending this onward.
I welcome your feedback and hope you will consider promoting CMWN in our community.

 

Recovery Coach Training Marketing Content 5-2015 by rodrushing

https://www.scribd.com/embeds/267389884/content?start_page=1&view_mode=scroll&access_key=key-XrZmVe7qVPvAjr2FhBjf&show_recommendations=true

 

 

 

to kill a king

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“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.”  ― Deepak Chopra
“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.”
― Deepak Chopra

i love the tv series “elementary”. the writing seems sharp and the performances entertain me consistently. but what i love the most is that sherlock holmes is an addict in recovery. his life is not easy. his emotional landscape is complicated and often dark and self-deprecating. it takes a less problems solved perspective and a more progress not perfection approach. i love this. last night’s episode did not disappoint. sherlock had to fight for what he felt he needed among his recovering peers in order to stay connected. and i felt empowered and grateful for watching.

the new road ahead in 2015 is at the crest and coming into view. i have resigned myself to the notion that there will be surprises. i have discerned a couple of separate agendas i am operating with these days. not sure how i feel about them, but there they sit like an underneath pimple on a tween’s forehead seemingly visible for the world to see.

i have developed interest in the aspects of treatment and wellness that involve activating a person’s substance abuse issues and connecting them with our thoughts and feelings or mental health. it seems that the treatment community has been operating in a couple of vacuums i.e. the substance treatment discipline has been mostly separated from the mental health landscape even though statistics have shown for some time now that an overwhelming portion of individuals have deficits in both camps.

the system for a very long time has demanded that a person who has both need travel to two locations, often needing to cease one behavior before offered a thoughtful way to look at the other issue. needless to say, the success rate in both these fields has been underwhelming. but as long as the professionals and the insurance companies were able to collect their stipends things could continue. providers have no doubt been able to appease their career needs of being successful by highlighting the individual successe they did come across while many of them work on their personal issues which drew them to the field in the first place. it seems it has been a system that has operated with the comfort of the providers in the front seat and the recipients of treatment riding shotgun.

my personal experience involved mental health counseling first. i had ignored and tattered my own psyche for so long that i needed to develop a relationship with wellness before i was able to look at developing healthier coping skills. this process took 30 some years to transpire as i started using when the abuse began in my tweens and never gave a thought that i might not be sick and the actions i was involved with were the tainted piece and were not my doing. i felt to blame for the differences in me from those around me. i had no concept that the variation might actually be the norm from a larger perspective.

when i did enter substance treatment, it was full of people drawn to it by force or court order and that mandated influence affected the intention of almost every group process in which i participated. yes, perhaps i got a firsthand demonstration of my own denial, but initially i had fallen so low that i wasn’t ready to look outwardly in a grounded way at all. i needed to lick some wounds and rediscover some internal strenght before i could start the long and arduous task of putting humpty dumpty back together again.

i also really needed to take my mental health seriously which is something i had never been able to do. i always describe being bi-polar as growing up on  a houseboat or a ship spending your life at sea. then you come to port and disembark to dry land and are expected to find life without sometimes subtle sometimes turbulent pitching to and fro of the waves below your vessel to be natural and right. this did not feel natural. i often missed the primal unsettledness. what was challenging was staying put and settling down. that has been the work for me. this remains some of the work for me, too.

i have been working in the treatment field because that seemed a natural transition from all the personal cleaning out i have engaged in having been a chronic  emotional horder for most of my life. “what you teach you learn” has become my modus operandi. whether this is selfish or community minded remains to be determined. i only know that as i have travelled this journey, the doorways to creating, developing, and implementing ideas and processes involving addiction and abuse, the culturally diverse, and self esteem and mental health issues have presented themselves repeatedly and i have stepped through them just as fearlessly as alice slipped behind the looking-glass.

i now am implementing a program which i did not create but believe in wholly. affordable and frontline mental health treatment accessible and integrated in a probation driven substance treatment program. dui treatment located in community clinic settings which offer  and normalize working on life issues at the same time you try to slow down drinking and look at your life. hopefully this approach will become a new generation of approaches to the scandalously overgrown broken life skills that our generation has embraced. never once should it be acceptable for a person to be ridiculed for trying to heal themselves. nor should it be rewarded to headline another persons’ struggles for personal amusement. the tabloids (our culture’s creation) uses their influence to be the modern version of the stockade visibly shaming individuals like lindsay and charlie as pariahs when compassion, understanding, and an expectation of success is what is needed most.  who in the world would ever want to admit they have a problem (without the grace of bottoming out) if they see the world laughing at their missteps?

wow-what a very long winded way to get to integrated (really integrated) mental health and substance abuse services!! sorry but it is my blog.

secondly is a visible and supportive recovery community. with all the press going to the addicts who are failing, it may also really be an invisible urban legend that people do not recover from addiction. there is very visible proof. with 23.5 million people in america living in recovery from drug, alcohol, and mental health issues,  and the looming problems related to those issues, you’d think that there would be a black friday sort of rush to get as much of this “recovery” in our schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods as we can. but that doesn’t seem to be the case. the last item on our agenda (if it’s there at all) is to encourage each of us to look at our coping skills, our life skills, and our substance use and drinking from an objective vantage point. instead it remains whispered about and undisclosed. judged and joked about. and it remains a way for us to be manipulated.

i have learned that i deserve to be happy and work towards it. i don’t need to be like anyone else in order to be okay. it is okay to stumble. it is not my fault i was victimized. being naive does not need to define me. it is not a requirement to become the aberrant that others see me as because they are too afraid to get close. i don’t need to punish myself because my inside does not match someone else’s image.

sober people continue to trudge in these muddy waters. people who continue to use (in a healthy way or not) do not care to or perhaps even need to look at their own use. when someone does not imbibe in a social situation, there is an underlying “alien” vibe that is transmitted and segregation and judgement often follow. it makes it so much more difficult when someone trying to get or stay sober is bullied into using so that the people who imbibe can feel more at ease.

healthy recovery community means creating an environment where it is the “norm” to not change the way i feel by ingesting or imbibing something. instead i might pray, or exercise, or read, or do something for someone else to get out of my own head.

integrated mental health and substance treatment services and a visible healthy recovery community. these are the two agendas in my sites. i honestly don’t know if i am on the right path or if my input and participation is gonna get us any closer. but i’m gonna continue to try.

happy holidays to you all. and may your dreams move closer to reality in 2015.

here’s a little playlist of some music that soothes the beast in me. mebbe it’ll have some effect on you as well.

 

 

serenity prayer

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God take and receive my liberty, my memory, my understanding and will, All that I am and have He has given me God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference Living one day at a time Enjoying one moment at a time Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it Trusting that He will make all things right If I surrender to his will That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy in the next. AMEN ... from aahistory.com
God take and receive my liberty,
my memory, my understanding and will,
All that I am and have He has given me
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference
Living one day at a time
Enjoying one moment at a time
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to h will
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy in the next. AMEN … from aahistory.com

there recently has been a crack in the veneer of doom that loomed over my life this year. whatever triggered old feelings has led me to a place that i am encountering a new idea- subconscious restructuring. this is not my original idea at all, but it is an concept i will be exploring over the next few months to determine if it may be a healthy and effective pathway to lead me to higher ground.

in the six realms of existence, there are said to be heirarchies that one inhabits depending upon their actions in life. having managed to emerge from the hamster wheel of a potent realm there is a current revelation that a deeper acceptance is required to continue to enjoy peace and tranquility in life.

there are some cyclical themes in my life that have become apparent.

1) my family continues to support me and accept me. all the while some of those players cause me to revert to old mindsets with their failure to evolve. recognizing my own role in this dance is imperative to healthy moves forward.

2) the inability to say “no” and remaining visible during conflict are character defects that stem from a primal thought process. i am not certain, but it is possible that i am attracted to conflict in order to cause me to withdraw and/or runaway. it is not clear what thoughts and beliefs drive this cycle. it is clear however that it feels broken and unhealthy.

3) i have learned through journaling and through life that creativity is an expression of gratitude to the universe for the blessings of the journey. the smoke has not cleared near the area of whether my expression is valid or appropriate. this again seems to be enmeshed with old beliefs and old programming.

this last tumble along my path has afforded unexpected time for reflection and review. with this has emerged this opening of hope. relief. possibility. perhaps a new deal.

therefore i need to reiterate the serenity prayer at this fork in the road. i am not clear on what can be changed and what cannot. i need help in determining clarity in those areas. this is that prayer. this is an ask for wisdom and patience. trust and faith. acceptance and letting go.

Two weeks late like a surplus reprieve
I found a hair the length of yours on my sleeve
I wound it round and round my finger so tight
It turned to purple and a pulse formed inside

And I knew the beat since it matched your own beat
I still remember it from our chest to chest and feet to feet
The easy silence then was a sweet relief to this hush
Of ovens, aeroplanes and distant car horns

A fire a fire, you can only take what you can carry
A pulse your pulse, it’s the only thing I can remember
I break you don’t, I was always set to self destruct though
The fire the fire, it cracks and barks like primal music

I said I knew the beat ’cause it matched your own beat
It’s become my engine my own source of heat
The sea between us only amplifies the sound waves
Every hum and echo and crash paints my cave.

a tale of two sissies

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"She had laid her head upon my shoulder, that night when I was summoned out--she had a fear of my going, though I had none--and when I was brought to the North Tower they found these upon my sleeve. 'You will leave me them? They can never help me to escape in the body, though they may in the spirit.' Those words I said. I remember them very well.'" - Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities,
“She had laid her head upon my shoulder, that night when I was summoned out–she had a fear of my going, though I had none–and when I was brought to the North Tower they found these upon my sleeve. ‘You will leave me them? They can never help me to escape in the body, though they may in the spirit.’ Those words I said. I remember them very well.'”
– Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities,

just emerging from a 4 day wrestle with a sinus infection and it does not escape me how spiritual illness really is. it is humbling. it is direct. it is right-sizing. it is a part of the process. it is a levelling.

funny- how different a person is when they feel well in contrast with how they are when illness pervades. two separate people- the healthy and the sick. tow people in one. or at least two sissies.

one wants to dance and explore, while the other reas quietly during hibernation. they inhabit the same frame but conduct life’s music with different orchestras. uptempo and still in unison.

I hear her voice in the morning hour she calls me, the radio reminds me of my home far away.
And driving down the road I get a feeling that I should have been home yesterday, yesterday.
Country roads, take me home to the place I belong.
West Virginia, mountain momma, take me home, country roads.
Country roads, take me home to the place I belong.
West Virginia, mountain momma, take me home, country roads

 

roads

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“You never know what's around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain.”  ― Tom Hiddleston
“You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.”
― Tom Hiddleston

just another day of trudging…. and a big glass of grateful…

“Roads”

Ohh, can’t anybody see
We’ve got a war to fight
Never found our way
Regardless of what they say

How can it feel, this wrong
From this moment
How can it feel, this wrong

Storm.. in the morning light
I feel
No more can I say
Frozen to myself

I got nobody on my side
And surely that ain’t right
And surely that ain’t right

Ohh, can’t anybody see
We’ve got a war to fight
Never found our way
Regardless of what they say

How can it feel, this wrong
From this moment
How can it feel, this wrong

How can it feel, this wrong
This moment
How can it feel, this wrong

Ohh, can’t anybody see
We’ve got a war to fight
Never found our way
Regardless of what they say

How can it feel, this wrong
From this moment
How can it feel, this wrong

so many of us

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“I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.”
“I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.”

 

there is a hefty risk involved with letting go. it becomes necessary to weigh the risks of the price of letting go against the price of holding on.

 

hey now

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What is like a smelly fart, that, although invisible is obvious? One's own faults, that are precisely As obvious as the effort made to hide them." His Holiness the 7th Dalai Lama in 'Songs of spiritual change'
What is like a smelly fart,
that, although invisible is obvious?
One’s own faults, that are precisely
As obvious as the effort made to hide them.”
His Holiness the 7th Dalai Lama in ‘Songs of spiritual change’

there are times that a guy just needs to let go of his conscious self and act on instinct. i believe i am at one of those personal milestones. no guarantees. no safety net. just fear. and faith. no doubts. and no regrets.

hey now. hey now. it’s gotta be now. it’s gotta be soon. it better be now.

Hey now, letters burning by my bed for you
Hey now, I can feel my instincts here for you, hey now
By my bed for you, hey now, hey now

Uhu, you know it is frightening
Uhu, uhu, you know its like lightning
Hey now, now,

Hey now, letters burning by my bed for you
Hey now, leave it to the wayside like you do, for you
Imagination calling mirrors for you
Hey now, hey now

Read more: London Grammar – Hey Now Lyrics | MetroLyrics