recovery heals families
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.
firstly, ii would request that all readers also read mark olmsted’s blog regarding the passing of phillip seymour hoffman at question marxist. mark olmsted – aka the trash whisperer- touches on the very core of a major challenge with living in recovery- emotional sobriety. people with addictions – both active and arrested- remains the most complicated and treacherous path that I have walked and that those ii walk with encounter.
What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman in the midst of this world, where each person is clinging to his piece of debris? What’s the proper salutation between people as they pass each other in this flood?
there are moments in which the clarity and cruelty of feeling are so uber-pronounced and omnipresent that frozen only begins to describe the fear and uncertainty that follow. sometimes an exchange of words or ideas will give a glimpse of unknowing that feels just like the chill of a visiting spirit. someone may something to me that ii am not clear how to take and ii will panic- not because of what was said, but more because of the not knowing how to proceed.
it may turn out that I struggle with emotionality for the rest of my days. it gets easier and the frightful crazy part lasts shorter periods of time. but as mark olmsted points out, it is not how we feel that creates problems, but more how we think we should feel.
There is no feeling without a thought. There is no feeling or thought without a corresponding physical response. We are not many. We are one.
It is a mistake for any of us to so divide ourselves into segments that we lose the sense of ourselves as holistic beings. There is no thought without a feeling. However by singling out a specific aspect of how we as people function, in this case the emotions, specific care can be given on that aspect. Feelings have the power to both take us to heaven and pitch us into hell. Feelings are perfectly capable of telling us the saving truth as well as sending us on the road to destruction. Feelings are powerful. As with all powerful things the task is to control and manage that power so it works to the person’s benefit.
Feelings must be understood for what they are and where they originate if the person experiencing them is to gain a life of sobriety, balance and serenity.
Topics covered in our various products dealing with emotional management:
Understanding the anatomy of emotions
Learning to feel long repressed feelings
Discerning if the feeling is telling us a useful truth
Not allowing feelings to be the sole dictator of behavior
Steps to gaining emotional management
words and thoughts by ernie larsen
recently i saw one of the most relevant discussions about modern culture of which i have seen recently in the media. the impact i felt was due to the embedded passion and emotionality that emerged as the cast of a recenlty released film about life and mental health displayed by some of the male cast members and the director of “silver linings playbook” i have my own experience with mental health- both myself and in my family as well as in my work. i took my mother to see the movie and she was a little taken aback at first, but then totally sucked in by it gentle candor and inclusivity. she leaned over and whispered “this is so personal” and “what a hard story to tell”.
the film’s director david o russel is quoted as saying in an interview with dealdline.com
“You have to have those disturbing moments that let you know that the movie isn’t fooling around. And that the emotions are real, and that the people are real, and you want to be able to feel as much of that pain as you can in a real way. The movie is filled with heartbreaking moments, I think, and there’s some very painful ones when he bottoms out. You know, where Jennifer slaps him and what follows is this manic episode of anger and anguish with his parents. In romantic movies terms, it’s like she rang his bell but given his situation, it was a bell he wasn’t prepared for. He had all this baggage he wasn’t willing to let go of, and it became this catastrophe in the household. It was important to Bob and Jacki, but especially to Bob that we see this family moment. What I love most about that is how the family goes through this horrible trauma, and when the cop leaves, they’re just standing there, wiping their bloody noses and ears, in their pajamas, all traumatized, but you can already feel in the quietness of it, the love that’s knitting itself back together. It feels very poignant to me, like they’re in it together no matter what. They’re sticking together.”