so a blast of ptsd hit me last weekend like a beached whale slams the shore. the light in my life drained without haste and i spent the next 72 hours imagining the annihilation of my world as it is today.
it has been awhile since i have felt in such a free fall and it did take me by surprise. since that time, my internal voice has been making strange noised like bubble wrap underneath a bicycle seat.
what is being revealed is the mismatch of my tasks and my intention. this is a very new doorway appearing in my path. typically, i push past these red flags and signals to continue with blinders on. and this has led me to a few spiritual firewalks. i usually feel burned.
it seems only natural to desire breaking that pattern. i wonder if now is the time to make that move, try to break out of a cycle.
ptsd is woven into my experience like a medieval tapestry. i am still learning how to not become invisible in its presence.