it happened repeatedly this week. i walked through doorways which held sights and smells and sounds for which i had not been prepared. i didn’t handle them gracefully nor was i able to “handle” them all. but i walked through as much as i could and i have made it through to be ready for the next day.
there is an anchor quality to patience. it is not my first go-to coping skill, but it is an effective one. an omnipresent tendency towards panic and catastrophizing is an embedded part of my spritual dance. i find myself taking my imagination to the worst places and then having to work my way back to calm requires effort and focus which is drained from advancement.
my mind has resembled a yo yo this week. unravelling and then ravelling back in. then repeat and repeat again.
heaven help me find a less repetitive dance please. and can i find my other shoe, too?