sometimes the pandora’s box that makes up some of my emotions pour out onto the world like the ocean following an offshore quake. i find myself in the throes of one of those sometimes. surfing emotions has become much easier as the years roll on. it’s still challenging, and i would doubt but that my raging feelings will best me someday. that fear is spawned from my history of overwhelmed suits and impulsive underthings. actually those were the garments i grew up wearing.
but now i am just surfing-not modeling. surfing is more adventurous and not so confining. there are times when a big wave comes along and there is nothing to do but paddle out on my board and hope i have practiced enough to make it out alive. that is my current position. a few years ago, i would have been unsure and tentative at best- unsure of my ability to ride the wave-if any. but these years of calm and serenity – without so much chaos- has bestowed me with experience and skill. forgiveness, empathy, and generosity are my escorts and i hope humility is my guide.
the last couple of weeks have been filled with darkness, moodiness, and drama. waves of this just keep pounding at the shores of my world. not just mine, but of those around me as well. i am hoping i can stay on top of the wet and still be breathing after it passes.