i have awakened to another layer of my own reflection and it has me puzzled. mostly i am puzzled because i am struggling to comprehend with intent to control. i know better than this. i don’t control- i only participate. my own nature rears its head and then i cower in its reflection. best i lay back a little, close my eyes and unwind, and remember i am not in charge.
i attempted to advocate for three people today. and i asked for input in helping a fourth. i received no concrete direction on the first 3. i don’t feel great about the guidance re: the 4th. emphasized in the prior sentences is “i” which is not the point. a contemporary informed me that i was talking “over” her. i didn’t like hearing this. again with the “i”. and my real focus continues to be me. would like it to be different.