one very distinct thing i am noticing about working with other people as a provider is that i have more limits than i am used to looking at. i cannot do for others, i cannot make others do, i cannot change another’s mind, i can’t make quick decisions for them, i can’t take a leap of faith, i can’t say “no” for them. i can only encourage them and create relationship with them.
this makes complete sense. i never allowed anyone to make those decisions for me. quite the contrary. i revelled in pushing back when being told what to do or feeling coerced. even if it was unwise, i pushed back anyway because i could – (self destructive maybe???) . anyway, i can’t expect others to be different. if someone is avoiding feeling something, then they probably have a damn good reason. so the trick is to help them see that there may be compelling reasons to rethink their strategy. damn that dopamine!
having limits is fairly new. prior to this, i have pretty much believed that i have no limits, except the ones i set in my head. perhaps now i am realizing that i have no limits with regard to my life. it’s others lives that i don’t have much power.
a bit numbing….